It seems like every year I ponder for weeks, the impending season of Lent. I look forward to it and try to figure out what I need to do to create a meaningful journey. I come up with so many ideas and my enthusiasm starts to bubble up for a Lenten experience that will make me a better human being, a holier person.
The day before Ash Wednesday I am usually without a decision as to what I will give up and add to my life to bring me closer to our Lord. I wake up on Ash Wednesday and go through the motions of fasting and attending Mass, again without a focus or decision on my plans. Through all the busyness of the week, my clarity is blurred. As usual, I’m trying to help my children make decisions of their Lenten plans, talking with my husband about what we can do together and as a family, listening to friends ideas and reading spiritual motivations online about Lent. Splintered as usual in too many directions.
Ash Wednesday is an “ashy” day for me – unclear. I am pulled into the season of Lent by obedience to my faith, yet the world and my daily duties are tugging me in the other direction.
Today is the day after Ash Wednesday and I always wake up on this day with clarity! I know what I need to do in order to grow through Lent and walk towards holiness. A good night’s sleep and prayer bring me into focus. I look forward to a season of prayer, living God’s mercy and developing a deeper prayer life with our Lord. I look forward to an awakening of my weaknesses and the strength to overcome them. I look forward to sharing God’s love with those less fortunate. I look forward to discernment. I look forward to the disciplined lifestyle that Lent promotes. I look forward to the joy on Easter day and in Heaven one day!
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