Madelynn Winstead, ENDOW Board Member and editor, Colorado

Winter Fast

In midwinter
the silence is deep calling on deep;
A footprint or footfall unheard;
The hidden root of springs long forgotten
And yet present in minute potentiality.

It is the biological prototype that holds the secret—
The Word that speaks out of chaos into being;
While a thousand variations on the theme of white and grey
Wait for that first steel shaft of sunlight
To penetrate each layer deeper still.
As Death’s dark angel sheaths his sword.

Janet Teran, ENDOW Board Member and facilitator, Colorado

Lent to me is a blessed time of opportunity to concentrate on a lessening of me. During this time of grace, I beg for extra grace to imitate St. John the Baptist when he said “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (Jn 3:30). My beloved Dad used to joke by repeating the phrase “Selfa-denial! Selfa-denial!” when we were called to sacrifice in various ways. Putting aside some of my excesses and practicing a bit of “selfa-denial” is one way I actively join in the process of becoming less of me and more of Christ Jesus. I love walking with Christ through Lent by joining with Him in these small sacrifices knowing in full HOPE that Resurrected Life in Christ is just on the other side His Passion and Crucifixion. As I strive to be a full gift of self, selfa-denial by selfa-denial, I joyfully await the promise of fuller New life in Christ! Come Holy Spirit!

Valerie Haas, ENDOW Facilitator, Colorado

Instead of dreading Lent like I did just a few years back, I now have a more “bring it on!” attitude and approach Lent as a wonderful way to “get back to the basics”. The basics, of course, are prayer, almsgiving and fasting.

My increase in prayer during the season of Lent has taken different forms over the years including Lenten devotional books, scriptural reading, the rosary, and the Divine Mercy Chaplet, but this year I am trying something new. I am meditating on and praying for an increase in the virtue of love. To assist me in this, I am reading “I Believe in Love: A Personal Retreat Based on the Teaching of St. Therese of Lisieux”. I am journaling as I work my way through this wonderful book and will pray for the courage to apply its teachings to my daily life – now and beyond this holy season.

My almsgiving will include charitable giving, which I like to think as not only giving of my money and belongings to the less fortunate, but also, freely giving of myself to those in my midst each day – my husband and children. I assure you, I know I am weak so this giving will not be heroic; it will be simple but will be done out of love. When I am tired from a long day and my one-year-old is crying while everyone else has disappeared from the dinner table to leave the clean-up for me, I will bite my tongue and will look at the little crucifix I have near my kitchen sink. This will remind me of the heroic love Jesus displayed and will certainly humble me to realize that clearing the table and washing dishes is hardly equal to His sacrifice! You wives and mothers know, there are probably hundreds of these opportunities every day – to bite our tongues and give simply to our families with a loving attitude.

Fasting has not changed much for me over the years. I get stuck in a rut giving up the usual things and but it is always challenging. The difference now is that when I’m being tempted to take just a half of a cookie (“I surely won’t go to hell for that!”) and it’s Saturday night and that glass of wine has my name on it (“Really, does God expect me to be perfect at all times?”), I rejoice when I am able to overcome the temptations and I can almost literally feel the graces being given to me by our Lord. What strength and peace comes from those moments!

While I know the graces received from practicing prayer, almsgiving and fasting are immeasurable, my focus on them tends to fade during different times of my life – particularly with the busyness that comes with raising 4 children. However, the older I get, the more I actually look forward to Lent every year as a way to prioritize my spiritual life and get back to the basics. Lent…bring it on!!!

Terry Begler, ENDOW Participant, Colorado

Recently, I was reminded that the term “Lent” literally refers to the lengthening of days, or spring. It’s a fact I’d buried so far in the recesses of my mind that I’d forgotten it. One reason is that Lent has come to mean so much more than a season. Still, if I had to compare Lent to a season, I would say it feels like winter, just as the trees are exposed without their leaves for the gardener to prune dead wood.

This Lent, I find myself on a quest for the obvious truth. Before you dismiss this reflection, I recognize the contradiction within that statement. A quest is a journey, a pursuit. When truth is obvious, what need is there to search? I have come to recognize that simple truths often become lost and sometimes buried amongst the messages of our world. To illustrate, you’d merely need to peak into my closet. Shoes significantly outnumber days of the week. Some are well-worn favorites, some for special occasions, a few for exercise, while others are painfully uncomfortable. There’s even a frivolous pair that I bought on a whim. I’m embarrassed to admit that a few are dusty from heel to toe and I’ve held on to some because they’re of good quality but out of fashion. Why hold on? What good is it? Moreover, this collection requires that I acknowledge messages I’ve internalized about personal gratification and whether the difference between my wants and needs has become too vague. Digging a little deeper, I must consider where I sit on the continuum from groomed to high-style and how my choices reflect my values. This Lent, I gathered those dusty shoes and several other pair and packed them in a box for charity. Next, I tackled the wardrobe and then the dresser drawers. As I cleaned the closets all through the house, I realized that this experience mirrors a spiritual process. In the quiet of packing, I found myself looking to see where resentment sat, gathering dust. Old injuries held painful places and I can’t help but wonder the point in holding a grudge. As for sharp words, there have been too many and they were usually colored the same. I never truly considered that the beauty of the Lord’s Day becomes diminished by trivial chores and errands. This Lent, I recognize that I am tremendously blessed. I have plenty to share with the less fortunate. More importantly, I receive the gift of reconciliation and am freed from the burden of sin. Just as the gardener trims the dead wood to prepare for new growth, I will eagerly embrace the coming of
spring.

Casey Sprehe, ENDOW Youth presenter, editor, and author, Colorado

Lent is my spiritual training for my marathon in life. When I decide I want to run a race, I always have to back-pedal a couple months and train for it. The training is hard, and it's my least favorite part of the race. I want to give up, but there is the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak, so I keep running. The challenges are tough, but I become stronger/faster only when I meet and exceed them. Race day and the finish line become attainable because I trained.
Lent is the same way. God gives me a chance to share in his Easter Sunday. It's exciting. I want to do it. However, it comes at the cost of his Good Friday. Just like training for a race, it's hard, and Lent is my least favorite liturgical season, while I'm in it that is. He calls me to sacrifice and do penance. I can't do it alone. But I know he's true to his promises, and if I keep meeting him in his sufferings, he'll be there to help me. He's like my trainer. He calls me deeper into his passion and death, so that I can rise with him in his victory.

Erin Baxley, Young Adult ENDOW participant, Colorado

As for Lent, it's one of those things that I don't really look forward to, but I love the feeling afterwards--like going to the dentist. Typical human that I am, I don't like to make sacrifices and fast and part of me dreads this season for those very reasons. But once my human nature takes a break, it gets easier to see how prayerful, how melancholy, and how beautiful Lent really is. Culturally, we're so trained for an 'instant' society; we're don't have to anticipate anything anymore. It can be really satisfying to let the anticipation of Easter build, culminating in the Triduum when the Church is at it's height of beautiful traditions. Sacrificing and fasting included, it's well worth the wait!

Gloria Zapian, ENDOW Diocesan Leader, Texas

When I was growing up and attending Catholic school, Lent meant fish sticks and quiet recess on Friday – we could read a book or play outside, but we had to be silent. It was tough for some of the others, but I loved the “quiet time” – I still do. These days, I “fast” from radio, TV, and extraneous media and computer (too often, the 21st century “idiot box”) time and spend my time praying the rosary in my car, listening to CD’s of past religious conferences I’ve attended, doing reading that actually requires engaging the brain (this year’s project: Edith Stein’s Essays on Woman and a collection of insights from great spiritual writers – Catholic, Protestant, and Orthodox), and just being quiet; because as Elijah the prophet discovered, the voice of the Lord was not to be found in the ranging whirlwind, earthquake, or fire he experienced, but in the sound of a breeze gentle blowing – all too often drowned out by our busy, noisy lives. Just as the Jesus went into the desert for 40 days to be alone with his Father before beginning his ministry– I like Lent to be a bit of “desert time” with the Lord. As far as Lent goes, you might say I like the strong, silent type.

Mercedes W. Gutierrez, Founding ENDOW Board Member, Colorado

Lent has always been a time I cherish and actually anticipate because it demands silence…something that is rare and precious. During these 40 days, I like to quiet myself and reflect on God’s presence in my life. In these moments of silence, many common-sense questions surface that so easily pass by during the hustle of everyday life. Questions like: How have I been open to God’s daily graces? What areas of my life are closed off from Him? Where do I need to open myself more to the Holy Spirit? And, of course, when contemplating these questions, my mind and heart are drawn to the face of Jesus. I see His mercy, His tenderness, His unconditional love and His invitation to give me more: more joy, more peace, more meaning...if I just give Him more of myself! This is the treasure of Lent: encountering Jesus in a deeper and more personal way.

Judy Maden, ENDOW Diocesan Leader, Michigan

Our journey into the Paschal Mystery—contemplating deeply on Christ’s Passion, death, and resurrection—helps us to grow stronger in our conviction of living boldly as disciples for Christ. This is why Lent is my favorite season of the Liturgical year as it offers us time to reflect on our walk of faith and how we have united it with Christ. How have I proclaimed His Word to others through my actions and words? How have I found Christ in the midst of my sufferings? Have I found the face of Jesus forsaken in the suffering of others and given them comfort? How have I boldly stood as a Christian witness to the world and if I have been ‘crucified’ for my beliefs, have I united my experience with Christ so that I too, may rise and grow stronger in my faith? Lent is a time to reflect on my conversion. Am I growing in virtue and holiness? Do I see Christ in the midst of my work and family life? Do I sing praises to the Lord? Do I tell others of His Love and Mercy? How can I be a better disciple, growing in union with the Lord I love so? Lent is a time of conversion and growth, death and dying for it is only through letting go of our old ways—dying to them—that we can rise to new life in Christ on Easter morn!

Fr. Hellstrom, St. John Vianney Theological Seminary, Colorado

Lent is my time to invite the Holy Spirit to reveal to me those areas that limit him from working in my life, to show me the specific antidotes, and to walk with him through them. My conversion isn’t so often from bad to good, but from the good things I want to choose to the much better things He chooses (whether they are easier or harder). The Church invites me to 40 days of this, and to walk with Jesus in his desert and mine. I think I will need many Lents then for real conversion, healing, and total trust in the Father’s plan.

40 days, 40 reflections

Ash Wednesday, February 16, 2010
By Terry Polakovic

As we begin our 2010 Lenten season, I am reminded of another time, the Lent of 1987. That was the Lent my mother died. However, it is not her death that floods my memory. It is the fact that in spite of the immense pain connected with losing our mother, my 17-year old sister refused to break her Lenten fast. She simply would not do it, no matter how hard I tried to convince her that God would understand. She felt that God deserved better than that. Even though I was 33 at the time, I felt entitled to break the fast, and had no problem doing so. To my way of thinking, my mother’s death was Lent enough. Thankfully, the years have taught me that it is not about the fast; it is about the humility. In other words, it is not about me.

Today, I welcome every Ash Wednesday. I have come to appreciate that Lent is that special time of year when we are encouraged to meditate solely on the depth of God’s infinite love for us. And when I think of God’s special love for me, I think of that scared young woman who was insistent on breaking her Lenten fast and compare her to the woman I have become and still hope to be. I recall all of the times He has loved me in spite of myself, and how His grace has directed the different paths I have taken over these past twenty three years, since the death of my mother. Meditating on His love reminds me that even in my loneliest moments, I have never been alone.

This year, I have invited 40 friends of ENDOW to share their own Lenten reflections. Each day during Lent, we will post a different reflection, with the hope that it will somehow inspire each of you to think of God in a new, more beautiful way.

Lenten Message from the Pope

Lent is just around the corner! As we prepare our hearts and minds for this cleansing time in our Church. Take a minute to reflect on the Pope's message to us in preparation of lent. --Jamie Gruber, Endow Advisory Board

Dear Brothers and Sisters!

Each year, on the occasion of Lent, the Church invites us to a sincere review of our life in light of the teachings of the Gospel. This year, I would like to offer you some reflections on the great theme of justice, beginning from the Pauline affirmation: “The justice of God has been manifested through faith in Jesus Christ” (cf. Rm 3, 21-22).

Justice: “dare cuique suum”

First of all, I want to consider the meaning of the term “justice,” which in common usage implies “to render to every man his due,” according to the famous expression of Ulpian, a Roman jurist of the third century. In reality, however, this classical definition does not specify what “due” is to be rendered to each person. What man needs most cannot be guaranteed to him by law. In order to live life to the full, something more intimate is necessary that can be granted only as a gift: we could say that man lives by that love which only God can communicate since He created the human person in His image and likeness. Material goods are certainly useful and required – indeed Jesus Himself was concerned to heal the sick, feed the crowds that followed Him and surely condemns the indifference that even today forces hundreds of millions into death through lack of food, water and medicine – yet “distributive” justice does not render to the human being the totality of his “due.” Just as man needs bread, so does man have even more need of God. Saint Augustine notes: if “justice is that virtue which gives every one his due ... where, then, is the justice of man, when he deserts the true God?” (De civitate Dei, XIX, 21).

Read the rest at the Vatican's website. Click here.